batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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