Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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