capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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