that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize