I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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