my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
