Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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