You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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