Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
where am i from again
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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