This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
