tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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