All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
