whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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