I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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