My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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