Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
