I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
