then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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