Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
