Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i think i scared a bird with my dick
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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