Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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