I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
