Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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