I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
