like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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