I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
