Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
