So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
its liver damage thursday
Randomize