I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
