Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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