i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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