If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
