I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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