Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
