plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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