all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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