i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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