I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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