I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
