Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
