yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
