He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
