you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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