His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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