you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
