thus making me awesome and them whores
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm getting married
To pizza
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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