She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
