i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
