i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
