I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
