you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
