Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
