i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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