Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Soap is not a condiment
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
