Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You're like the curious george of whores
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
