I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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