We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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