I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
