It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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