We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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