would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
