So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
