i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so let's talk penis.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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