I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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