no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
