LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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