I hate your face
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize