she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
