I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
