just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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