Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
