Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
