If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
