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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  As shirtless as possible

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.

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• (858): View more from California

  Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm

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• (212): View more from New York

  I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....

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• (607): View more from New York

  Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...

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