wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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