I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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