apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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